आखिर क्यूँ.....

आखिर क्यूँ रह रही हो दिल में 

जबकि इसकी कोई हकीकत ही नहीं ..

बस रह रह कर सताती रहती हो 

जिसकी इस मर्ज़ क पास कोई दावा नहीं 

ना चाहते हुए भी हर पल याद आ जाती हो

कभी जागते हुए कभी बेहोशी में आती हो 

जो पूरी न हो सके कभी भी 

तुम वोही सपना बनकर रुला जाती हो 

आखिर फिर क्यूँ आती हो ख्यालों में मेरे 

जब तुमने जिंदगी से हमको जुदा कर दिया है 

इस अधूरी सफ़र में छोड़ गए मुझको और  

मेरे प्यार क जज्बातों को जला कर राख कर दिया है 

वादा किया था खुद से के दूर हो जाऊं

तेरी हर वो ख्याल इस दिल से 

पर आज तुमने फिर वो याद दिला दिया 

जिसको बुलाया था मैंने इतनी मुस्किल से 

अब तो बस एक ही बिनती है सनम तुझसे 

बस रुक्सत कर दे मुझे अपनी मोहब्बत से 

इतनी तो इनायत बनती है मेरी इस सफ़र पर 

तेरे प्यार के अलावा कुछ और भी चाहत है जिंदगी से 

The day I got... still lost ......on the NEW YEAR

          Life is all about losses and gains... and today was my turn to get such a day. I was traveling to my old home to new one. I was going from home to delhi by Rajdhani Express. I said it as great as it was the only one available... I was going with my small niece and was supposed to drop her at home and stay there for a day and then leave for Berali. I was as usual chitchatting with her to get the time going as it's a long journeys. But then I noticed a girl just next to my seat. She seemed quite familiar like someone I knew. But I ignored it as I wasn't alone. I kept myself engaged with my niece. But when I just went to wash my face I again saw her and saw a group of them. While washing my face I was just trying to recollect her. Ah! I got it, she was from my school. Perhaps I didn't have a proper talk with her before which took some time to recognize. 

           But then while coming back to my seat I tried to have a peep and see who all are there. Then i saw her. Even though I passed swiftly thinking not to get noticed by that girls but that face was like flash from dark. She, my first crush sitting just near the window seat. I just couldn't believe it was her as i had never thought i would ever get to see her. She was also traveling with them.
          Just remembered the day i saw her. It was a sight to behold as the heart was struck and i reached the flash point. So Love happens of first sight just as if it was one of popular Sharukh khan movie. But I never had conveyed it to her. So the feelings was hidden somewhere deep inside in the heart and i kept that secret all the while even though i left school and all went on their own ways.. After a while i saw her coming out of that chamber to buy some snacks. She was wearing a white salwar kurta which suits her the most and  i too like her in that. I had seen her the first time in this same look with the same simplicity for the first time too. Then she saw me and we exchanged a smile. Uff! That smile was killer type that just drove me way back to the sweet old days.. 

          I hadn't spoken to her often but still I remember the sight of her while I was in 11th grade, I came across her in a accident. Then I said sorry to her and she just smiled and said it's OK and went past. That frame of time that had got me the most lovely and curvy smile of her is still looked so vivid till today that it sat deep in the heart. I can remember it as f it happened has happened just now. I even now still wanna go back into time and see her smile again and again. But time had its own cruelty so everything went past and after our schooling she went along her way and I on my way. 

          But today everything just lightened up just like flashback and I just loving the moment. I thought to talk to her about her well being next time she comes out. After a while she came out looking for something. I rushed out but calmly and greeted her with a simple Hi and wished her a happy new year and asked how you are. She just said fine and asked about me. I said everything is going on its way. But as I was going to ask something more to talk she turned back towards her seat as her friends called her and she sat there. The heart just dropped out again. I was hoping for another chance but it didn't happen and our stations came up. I came out with my sister who happened to see her brother being the juggler on the hands of time. While coming out I wished all of them a happy new year and went along. I was just praying to god to give another moment to talk but it didn't happen as I couldn't trace her after train halted at station.  After  that i out my luggage and went towards exit.

          After coming out of the station I just took a glance around to see her just to at least say her a goodbye but that too didn't happen. Nevertheless life's not all about her only. there still something time has left for me. But whatever maybe the goals of life she still will have a silent place at one corner of my heart and that will never go……

टिप टिप कर गिरती बूँदें....

टिप टिप कर गिरती बूँदें

कुछ एह्सश जगा गइ दिल में..

और हलकी सी मुस्कराहट ला दी 

लेगइ कुछ पुराने यादों से पल में.....

यारों के संग वो हस्ता हुआ कल

जब भीगते थे मिलकर बरसात में....

वोह बरसात  में धुलते  चेहरे

और पानी भरे होते जूतों में..

चाप चाप कर पानी में कूदना

फिर गिले ही घर लौट जाना था....

पर अगले  दिन फिर वोही  कहानी थी

और घर में  फिर जाकर दांट खाना था..

एक छत्री के ना जाने कितने रहते 

फिर भी साथ में ही रहते थे....

कभी तो छाते संग होते फिर भी

यारों क साथ भीगते रहते थे...

आज तो पड़ भी जाये बूँदें तो भी

वोह  सम्मा ना ला पायेगी ..

क्या आज की ये छोटी छोटी बूँदे

भूल जाने पर फिर याद आएगी ..

aapki yaad me .............

Bas doori itni thi unse k keh na sake,
Ehsaas dil ki bayan na kar sake,
Fir bhi umar bhar ye dard rahegi k,
Us doori ko hum tay na kar sake.

Saksh woh aaj kyun yaad aa raha hai.
Purani yaadon ko sath la raha hai.
Un adoore sapno ko jise kho aaye the,
Na jane dil unhe fir kyun basa raha hai.

Abhi bhi samjh ja dil mere,
Koi mol nahi yaadon me tere
Magar e yaaron ye bhi ajeeb hai
Yaad karta aankho me pani bhare.

Agar khuda de aisi zindgi dubara
koi doori na rahegi o yaara
aur na rahunga aise yaad karte
bas sath rahe wo saksh pyara...

Friendship with sunshine.....

Friendship is precious!
not only in the shade.
In the sunshine of life,
And the sorrows made.

Your friendship, a rare fragrant
Along with essence of sunshine
It's worth can't be measured
except by heart's shrine

Sweetness tamed by her,
that resides in humble mind.
Her friendship is sharing openly,
And caring with trust as bind,

Pours her heart out,
For gentle hands to take.
Keeps what is worth keeping,
like keeping cherries of cake.

Thanks to be benevolent
and smile to gladden.
May the simple friend of mine,
Blossom in life's garden.....

जब चले गए तुम नज़रों से दु्र.........

जब चले गए तुम नज़रों से दु्र

हमने नज़ारे देखना छोड़ दिया

इन आँखों  की किस्मत तो देखो

जिसे बसाया उसीने हमें छोड़ दिया

थामे हुए है फिर भी थकी निगाहें और

बस यूँ तकती रहती रास्ता तेरा 

ना छोड़ा लेकिन उस राह को 

चाहे ढल जाये शाम या आये सवेरा

अब ना बची थी दिन ना बची रात

हर लम्हा इंतज़ार जो बन गया था

बस दर है कहीं तुम्हारे मिलने से पहले 

कम्बक्त धड़कन ने साथ ना छोड़ दिया

अब लौट भी जा ए हमसफ़र मेरे 

देख तेरे बिना सब सुना-सुना है यहाँ 

हम तो अब भी खड़े है अकेले वहां 

तुम हमें छोड़ आये थे जहाँ 

ऐसी थी झाँसी की रानी......

ऐसी थी झाँसी की रानी
जिसने धुल चटा दिया अंग्रेजों को ।
बिठुर की थी वीरांगना ऐसी,
नाज़ है जिसपे आज सारे ज़माने को ।

कहते है उनकी मोख की तेज थी ऐसी,
जिसके सामने हर कोई झुक जाती ।
उनमे हिम्मत के सामने तो
हर मुस्किल भी आसन बन जाती ।

प्रतिमा थी वो क्रांति की
जिन्होंने भड़काई थी ऐसे आग
हर कोई निकल पड़ा था साथ में
उनके लेके हिंदुस्तान की आज़ादी का राग ।

सचाई की ताकत थी उनके बाजु में
और ज्वाला भरे थे सीने में ।
कमी नहीं थी साहस की
तांत्या की उस तेजस्वी सिस्या में ।

धरती माँ से करती थी प्रेम इतना
समर्पित कर गयी जीवन अपना ।
हर इंसान की आँखों में बसा गयी
एक स्वतंत्र भारत का सपना ।

जब तक थी सांसो में जान
जितने न दिया फिरंगियों को ।
ऐसी थी झाँसी की वो महारानी गर्व है
जिसपे हर भारतवासी को ।

Todays enigma faced by me.....

   Why in today's world it has become so cynical for a person to trust another one or help them in their times of hardships and troubles? Why, there's no one to help out a person confronted with a problem? Why... just because of fear of getting cheated. But there might be some one who would be real and truely needed help. Was this what we all knew about the moralities that we studied in childhood.

             Such is this enigma where  i often find myself getting caught between my-self and my emotions. Often shaterred by the mere acceptence of the new values of life and going along the tide. Perhaps today people have learnt what our mothers used to say, "never talk to strangers". Today i had been through such a situation where i had dealt within my values and a past experience. 

       It was around my college days when i was new to college and the place. Stating the incident which occurred when i was going to my friends house to bring some books. On the way i met some people who were asking for help . there was a man and his wife with their son and daughter. the child was too small probably 2-3 years old while daughter was old enough to go to school. They were asking whether i knew Hindi or not. I replied, "Yes". Then the man said that his luggage has been stolen and he needed some money to go to his native place which is Jamshedpur. He looked very terrible and sorrow. 

  

     I felt bad at their situation and thought of helping them. But at the back of my mind i also thought of being cheated. Then i saw that small boy in the arms of the lady who was crying slowly as if he was hungry and the girl who was wearing a school dress. Still hesitant to help them but couldn't back out. I just thought for a while because he had asked for 100 rupees for the ticket and i was having just hundred for buying some xerox materials of study. But i went with my heart and gave them a hundred rupee note and said that i had only this much and if u needed some more then you have to ask others. He seemed happy and thanked me for helping him as he said he had asked many people before me but none had listened him. Hearing this i felt relieved and happy too as i felt i was able to help a needy. Then he asked whether i had any extra some 20-30 rupees to feed the child. i searched for it in my pants and found a 20 rupee note which also i gave him. Then he went is way to the station and i came back.

         But all of a sudden i thought whether he is going to get ticket or else going some where. I returned back towards the station just to cross check in case he uses my money for the right purpose only. But to my wonder i was unable to trace him. Nowhere i could see him. Then i looked for him near the ticket counter but he was not there also. Now i seemed suspicious about him and checked out any trains to jamshedpur just to find out if he gone by train. But to my utter amusement ther was no train till morning 4 a.m. I shaked my head in disbelief and cursing myself for getting moved away and getting fooled by such silly stories.

                    I just came back home and straight away got laid on bed and didn't talk about it and thought of got a lesson from life. But today i again cam across with similar sort of people who asked for some money to go to their house as he said that his purse has been pick-pocketed. But i didnt even gave an ear and moved away recollecting that incident of past. But still now also i got a feeling that whether he might be true but still backed out myself from that place and moved on.But at night before penning down this strangest incident i again encountered me thinking i should hav helped. But strangely i silenced my heart. Possiblely i have also have started to hate in fear rather than hug and love.....

Ye thehra hua waqt...

ठहर  जाये  ये  वक़्त  येही  और
आपको  ही  बस  मैं  देखता  रहूँ
ख़ामोशी  भरी  नज़रों  में  आपकी
हाले-दिल  अपनी  चुपके से केह  जाऊं 

इस  रुके  हुए  वक़्त  में  जब
आप  बैठी  रहे  यूँ  साथ  मेरे
और  हम  बस  निहारा  करे  आपको
के  आप  खो  जाओ  आँखों  में  हमारे

आपने जब यूँ  कंधे  पर  सर  रखा
मनचली  हवाएं  तबसे  बहता  गया
और  जब  लिया  हाथों  में  हाथ  आपने
तो  धड़कन  मनो  वहीँ  रुक  सा  गया

प्यार  भर  गया  था  हर  नज़ारे  में
जी  चाहा  समेट  लूँ  हर  लम्हों  को
इसिलीए  वक़्त से गुज़ारिश  कर  बैठा
थोड़े और पल  दे दे संग  उसके बिताने  को

पर  वो  भी  निकला  प्यार  का  देवाना
केह  गया, जी  ले ये  लम्न्हे  प्यार  के
बस  वादा  कर  दे  इतना  मुझे
दिल  न  तोडना  कभी  अपने  यार  के

कहानी झाँसी की रानी की

जन्मी बिठुर में एक चिंगारी थी,
जिसका इंतज़ार था कबसे भारत को |
लिखी जिसने नारी की ऐसी परिभासा
इतिहास करता हर पल सलाम उनको |

रखे थे कदम ब्रह्मन के घर में
पर रूह लायी थी एक सेनानी की |
जब खेले दोस्त उसके गुड्डे-गुड़ियों से,
तब बात करती वो भाले और तलवारों की |

गुरु थे जिसके तांत्या टोपे
और भाई, वीर नाना साहब |
हिम्मत थी बेसुमार उसमे और
सहस भरे थे उसमे बेहिसाब |

कुछ सोची थी तक्द्देर ने भी,
जो बांध दिया राजा गंगाधर से |
और दिल में बसे उसके जज्बे को
यूँ जोड़ दिया जूनून के समंदर से |

गावं से निकल कर हाथी पे सवार हुई
महारानी बनी जब झाँसी की |
सिखा गयी सबको एकता की बातें
और ज्वाला जला गए सबमे क्रांति की |

नको चने दबा दिया गोरों को
तिलमिला उठे उसके तेज़ से |
गोरे तो बस घायल हो गए
जब सामना हुआ रानी लक्ष्मी बाई से |

ऐसे खूब लड़ी वो मर्दानी
वो तो झाँसी वाली रानी थी |
देश पे न्योछावर करदी जिसने
उसकी सची देशप्रेमी की कहानी थी |

दूर तक छलकती नीर में जैसे.........

दूर तक छलकती नीर में जैसे 

बीछी हो हर तरफ  कोई नीली ओढ़नी हो

सरसराती हुई जब आये सामने
दिल कहे उसे तुम कितनी सोनी हो .

देखा जो तुम्हे, तो सोचा कैद कर दूँ 

अक्षरों में अपनी छोटे छोटे अक्षरों में

पर समेट न सका मई तेरी खूबसूरती 

अपने कविता के चन्द पंक्तियों में

पल भर में आती हो लेकिन 
अगले पल में ही तुम चली जाती हो
पर जाते जाते कुछ इस तरह शर्माती  हो जैसे 
केहती हो रोक ले हमें जब हम जाते हो
 
 रोज़  सुबह  सूरज  जब  चूमे  तुमको   
 अपने  होंठों  की  लाली  छोड़  जाती  है
 और  फिर  रात  के  अँधेरे  में चाँद
चांदनी  की साडी  तुमपे  सजा जाती है

कभी  हलके  हलके  चलती  तुम
और कभी ओउच  कहके कूद  जाती  हो
कुछ पल फुहारों  की मस्ती  लेती
और कुछ पल हमपे ही बरस जाती हो

सिर्फ  खुसी  ही  नहीं  रहती  पास तेरे  
पर गम  भी  सह  जाती हसकर  वो
हर रंग  जीवन  का समेत लेती  है
जैसे सागर  नहीं कोई बड़ी  दिलवाली  हो.

ek khwab hamari.....

Ek khwab dekhi bahut pyari,
yaad aaye to muskura jate hai.
Par na jane kyun woh khwab hamari
muskurati aankhon me pani le aate hai.

Aakhen hoti hai band magar
Chavi usiki samne chalak jati hai.
Jagti aankh se dhunde har dagar
Lekin na jane kyun wo samne aati nahi hai.

Chupke se mere khwab me aati hai
aur chali jati hai sharmate hue.
bas ek tadap chod jati hai
jab apne sapne se hum juda hue.

Aaakir wo hai kaun jo na aaye nazar,
Sirf khwabon me baseera banaye.
Kabhi samne aao to jara e humsafar
intezaar kar rahe hai hum bahe faylaye

subah se suruwat...

Thandi thandi masoom sawera me
uth gaye adhe adhure sapne liye
Gaati gungunati pankh wali bhi nikal jati hai sawera ka aalap liye

Ghar k galiche me chalte chalte
khusi aati hai kaliyon ko jab dekh aate
Kahin os ki boondon ko sarahte
Aur kabhi khud baghban ban jate.

Sathi mere ye lamhon ko khona mat
Rahe chahe hum zindgi ki bhagdaud me
Kyunki kuch lamhe dubara jee nahi jati
jaise muskurate din ki suruwat me............

Memories of an old and broken watch..

                Today as usual I was doing some cleaning work. But now mummy asked to clean my rack & remove some unwanted things from it which I didn’t want to do. But I was just doing as said in a listless manner. Gosh! It had my so many valuables that I had collected over the time. Hey I didn’t tell u about this? Actually I had an unusual habit of keeping all those memorable things. I gradually started picking those entire things one after the other and kept them on the floor.  I suddenly stopped on one thing. Oh! There it was, still relaxing amidst all those collections of mine.  An old friend of mine was staying at a corner of my rack. Perhaps it was starving for some sort of attention I suggest. Dusty and torn out but still there. It was an old watch of mine which was my first gift.

                I never really forget such memories but don’t know how it had escaped from my memory. I just got glued with it and was recalling that very special moment but suddenly heard a voice, “have you done it?” It was of my mother asking whether I completed cleaning the cupboard or not. I just replied her, “it’s in process and it will take time so don’t disturb until then”. Then I thought she might come in and see whether I am doing or not so I sneaked through the house towards the verandah and sat on the staircase. All of a sudden my cheeks expanded and I was smiling which actually I didn’t knew I was doing. I started looking allover it as if I am examining a brand new watch. It was the first gift of my grandpa which I had won as a prize rather a gift. But you can tell it as gift also as reward within family is more than a gift as they had their love and affection in it.

                I was gone somewhere down those memory lanes where I used to sit in his lap and he used to hold me up having his arms around me and cuddle me up. I was feeling so snug that that cozy feeling was still fresh with me. I was now recalling all those nights when I got sick and he used hold me up and stroll around to make me sleep. I always used to sleep beside him at night and he rolled his fingers over my hair and I used to sleep very soon. He sometimes came up to me to just give a ride to the nearby town where he was working as a health inspector in the hospital. We used to have some Tiffin at the roadside stall. And as usual I used to have some sweets after any thing I ate. Most favorite was ’bundiyaa’ which he used to bring whenever he visited us. Yummy! Its mere thought brought my saliva flowing. I still miss its taste as it has been a while since I had a bite of it.

                Now hardly I could remember my last visit to my village. He called me number of times but I couldn’t meet him up due to either my studies or some sort of exams or some other reason. He till now waited to hear me that I was coming to met him up. This was all his love that he had for me and perhaps he loved me more than his own sons. So many memories got back to life again thanks to my mother. Wait I was feeling someone is standing back of me. I turned and found my mom. She was standing and observing me while I was cleaning the watch. I got caught so tried to patch it up. So I said,” I was seeing whether it can be repaired or not”. She just smiled and said, “Dear I know it. It was your first gift from your grandpa. And I know it’s a special one which even I don’t want you to loose it.” Those words brought back that small smile back to its place. She patted my back and said,”you can keep that but please finish your work and the do whatever you do and do it quickly.” I happily said yes and got back to my old job. I kept the things of my cupboard in a good order and then took that watch, cleaned it and kept in my pocket in order to take to the near by watch mechanic tomorrow to see whether it can be repaired or not. Ah! What a day it was. Something missed and something gained and it was more gain than loose.

एक चु्लबुली सी दोस्त मेरी.........

एक  चु्लबुली  सी  दोस्त  मेरी
थोड़ी  सैतान  थोड़ी  नादान 
पर  करती  बातें  मीठी  इतनी
जैसे  परोस  दिया  हो  पकवान 

     नीली ओढ़नी लिए निकले जब
     लाए  एक अती  ही मंद्र  छवि 
     जिसकी  एक झलक  करदे
     किसीको  शायर  किसीको कवी

हंसी  कुछ  ऐसी  है उनकी
यादों  से जो  निकले  ना
नयन  भी  है उसकी हसीन  इतनी

देखते ही किसीकी नज़र उससे फिसले  न

      उस  यार  की  तो सुवसित  ऐसी

     जिसकी खुसबू भूला दे महक सांझी की

     पर यारी  का  रंग  ऐसी उसमे जो
     फीका  कर  दे  सूरज  साँझ  की

थोड़ी  अनकही  बातें उसकी और
खट्टी-मीठी सौगातें  सारी
याद  आओगे  यारा  जब  हो
दुरी  आजाये  मुलाकातों  में  हमारी

      ए  रब  महफूज़  रखना  यार  को
      इतनी  दुआ  है  बस  तुझसे  मेरी
      एक  फ़रियाद  और भी  है सुनलो

       बनादो  किस्मत  मेरे  यार  की सुन्हेरी 

aa tujhe ek sach bataun.....

aa tujhe ek sach bataun

teri khatti meethi yaadon ko tujhi me bhunaun

rukhsat hui hai jo mohabbat meri

aaj use mai tujh me mal jaun

apni zindgi ki haseen khwabon me tujhe sajaun
dil k gehrai me basi tasveer dikha jaun
kehte hai ishq jise use ab

ashique ki rangse rangeen kar jaun

ret me likha tera naam aa tuijhe dikha dun
rang jo bhare the teri tasveer me use bhi dikhaun
tu chahe to sach maan ya fir jhut hi sahi

fir bhi teri yaadon ko tujhe sunaun

is dewane ki kasish hai yehi k
is zindgi ki bas tu hi hasrat hai, itna bataun
aa tujhe ek sach bataun

teri khatti meethi yaadon ko tujhi me bhunaun

proud of my frnd..

He turned down stones

That life threw to him
But he stood there unwavering
As if it was simple as cream

Every step he took forward
Became so steep ahead,
Yet he kept on climbing,
And every steep got dead.

He was brilliant as ever,
Yet had simplicity as attire.
Can't relent on anything as,
As success was his desire.

This was his path to glory,

As success stood with him smiling.
And taught a mighty chapter,
To achieve something go through grueling..