Todays enigma faced by me.....

   Why in today's world it has become so cynical for a person to trust another one or help them in their times of hardships and troubles? Why, there's no one to help out a person confronted with a problem? Why... just because of fear of getting cheated. But there might be some one who would be real and truely needed help. Was this what we all knew about the moralities that we studied in childhood.

             Such is this enigma where  i often find myself getting caught between my-self and my emotions. Often shaterred by the mere acceptence of the new values of life and going along the tide. Perhaps today people have learnt what our mothers used to say, "never talk to strangers". Today i had been through such a situation where i had dealt within my values and a past experience. 

       It was around my college days when i was new to college and the place. Stating the incident which occurred when i was going to my friends house to bring some books. On the way i met some people who were asking for help . there was a man and his wife with their son and daughter. the child was too small probably 2-3 years old while daughter was old enough to go to school. They were asking whether i knew Hindi or not. I replied, "Yes". Then the man said that his luggage has been stolen and he needed some money to go to his native place which is Jamshedpur. He looked very terrible and sorrow. 

  

     I felt bad at their situation and thought of helping them. But at the back of my mind i also thought of being cheated. Then i saw that small boy in the arms of the lady who was crying slowly as if he was hungry and the girl who was wearing a school dress. Still hesitant to help them but couldn't back out. I just thought for a while because he had asked for 100 rupees for the ticket and i was having just hundred for buying some xerox materials of study. But i went with my heart and gave them a hundred rupee note and said that i had only this much and if u needed some more then you have to ask others. He seemed happy and thanked me for helping him as he said he had asked many people before me but none had listened him. Hearing this i felt relieved and happy too as i felt i was able to help a needy. Then he asked whether i had any extra some 20-30 rupees to feed the child. i searched for it in my pants and found a 20 rupee note which also i gave him. Then he went is way to the station and i came back.

         But all of a sudden i thought whether he is going to get ticket or else going some where. I returned back towards the station just to cross check in case he uses my money for the right purpose only. But to my wonder i was unable to trace him. Nowhere i could see him. Then i looked for him near the ticket counter but he was not there also. Now i seemed suspicious about him and checked out any trains to jamshedpur just to find out if he gone by train. But to my utter amusement ther was no train till morning 4 a.m. I shaked my head in disbelief and cursing myself for getting moved away and getting fooled by such silly stories.

                    I just came back home and straight away got laid on bed and didn't talk about it and thought of got a lesson from life. But today i again cam across with similar sort of people who asked for some money to go to their house as he said that his purse has been pick-pocketed. But i didnt even gave an ear and moved away recollecting that incident of past. But still now also i got a feeling that whether he might be true but still backed out myself from that place and moved on.But at night before penning down this strangest incident i again encountered me thinking i should hav helped. But strangely i silenced my heart. Possiblely i have also have started to hate in fear rather than hug and love.....

Memories of an old and broken watch..

                Today as usual I was doing some cleaning work. But now mummy asked to clean my rack & remove some unwanted things from it which I didn’t want to do. But I was just doing as said in a listless manner. Gosh! It had my so many valuables that I had collected over the time. Hey I didn’t tell u about this? Actually I had an unusual habit of keeping all those memorable things. I gradually started picking those entire things one after the other and kept them on the floor.  I suddenly stopped on one thing. Oh! There it was, still relaxing amidst all those collections of mine.  An old friend of mine was staying at a corner of my rack. Perhaps it was starving for some sort of attention I suggest. Dusty and torn out but still there. It was an old watch of mine which was my first gift.

                I never really forget such memories but don’t know how it had escaped from my memory. I just got glued with it and was recalling that very special moment but suddenly heard a voice, “have you done it?” It was of my mother asking whether I completed cleaning the cupboard or not. I just replied her, “it’s in process and it will take time so don’t disturb until then”. Then I thought she might come in and see whether I am doing or not so I sneaked through the house towards the verandah and sat on the staircase. All of a sudden my cheeks expanded and I was smiling which actually I didn’t knew I was doing. I started looking allover it as if I am examining a brand new watch. It was the first gift of my grandpa which I had won as a prize rather a gift. But you can tell it as gift also as reward within family is more than a gift as they had their love and affection in it.

                I was gone somewhere down those memory lanes where I used to sit in his lap and he used to hold me up having his arms around me and cuddle me up. I was feeling so snug that that cozy feeling was still fresh with me. I was now recalling all those nights when I got sick and he used hold me up and stroll around to make me sleep. I always used to sleep beside him at night and he rolled his fingers over my hair and I used to sleep very soon. He sometimes came up to me to just give a ride to the nearby town where he was working as a health inspector in the hospital. We used to have some Tiffin at the roadside stall. And as usual I used to have some sweets after any thing I ate. Most favorite was ’bundiyaa’ which he used to bring whenever he visited us. Yummy! Its mere thought brought my saliva flowing. I still miss its taste as it has been a while since I had a bite of it.

                Now hardly I could remember my last visit to my village. He called me number of times but I couldn’t meet him up due to either my studies or some sort of exams or some other reason. He till now waited to hear me that I was coming to met him up. This was all his love that he had for me and perhaps he loved me more than his own sons. So many memories got back to life again thanks to my mother. Wait I was feeling someone is standing back of me. I turned and found my mom. She was standing and observing me while I was cleaning the watch. I got caught so tried to patch it up. So I said,” I was seeing whether it can be repaired or not”. She just smiled and said, “Dear I know it. It was your first gift from your grandpa. And I know it’s a special one which even I don’t want you to loose it.” Those words brought back that small smile back to its place. She patted my back and said,”you can keep that but please finish your work and the do whatever you do and do it quickly.” I happily said yes and got back to my old job. I kept the things of my cupboard in a good order and then took that watch, cleaned it and kept in my pocket in order to take to the near by watch mechanic tomorrow to see whether it can be repaired or not. Ah! What a day it was. Something missed and something gained and it was more gain than loose.