Thursday, September 29, 2011

आखिर क्यूँ.....

आखिर क्यूँ रह रही हो दिल में 
जबकि इसकी कोई हकीकत ही नहीं ..
बस रह रह कर सताती रहती हो 
जिसकी इस मर्ज़ क पास कोई दावा नहीं 

ना चाहते हुए भी हर पल याद आ जाती हो
कभी जागते हुए कभी बेहोशी में आती हो 
जो पूरी न हो सके कभी भी 
तुम वोही सपना बनकर रुला जाती हो 

आखिर फिर क्यूँ आती हो ख्यालों में मेरे 
जब तुमने जिंदगी से हमको जुदा कर दिया है 
इस अधूरी सफ़र में छोड़ गए मुझको और  
मेरे प्यार क जज्बातों को जला कर राख कर दिया है 



वादा किया था खुद से के दूर हो जाऊं
तेरी हर वो ख्याल इस दिल से 
पर आज तुमने फिर वो याद दिला दिया 
जिसको बुलाया था मैंने इतनी मुस्किल से 

अब तो बस एक ही बिनती है सनम तुझसे 
बस रुक्सत कर दे मुझे अपनी मोहब्बत से 
इतनी तो इनायत बनती है मेरी इस सफ़र पर 
तेरे प्यार के अलावा कुछ और भी चाहत है जिंदगी से 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The day I got... still lost ......on the NEW YEAR


          Life is all about losses and gains... and today was my turn to get such a day. I was traveling to my old home to new one. I was going from home to delhi by Rajdhani Express. I said it as great as it was the only one available... I was going with my small niece and was supposed to drop her at home and stay there for a day and then leave for Berali. I was as usual chitchatting with her to get the time going as it's a long journeys. But then I noticed a girl just next to my seat. She seemed quite familiar like someone I knew. But I ignored it as I wasn't alone. I kept myself engaged with my niece. But when I just went to wash my face I again saw her and saw a group of them. While washing my face I was just trying to recollect her. Ah! I got it, she was from my school. Perhaps I didn't have a proper talk with her before which took some time to recognize. 

           But then while coming back to my seat I tried to have a peep and see who all are there. Then i saw her. Even though I passed swiftly thinking not to get noticed by that girls but that face was like flash from dark. She, my first crush sitting just near the window seat. I just couldn't believe it was her as i had never thought i would ever get to see her. She was also traveling with them.
          Just remembered the day i saw her. It was a sight to behold as the heart was struck and i reached the flash point. So Love happens of first sight just as if it was one of popular Sharukh khan movie. But I never had conveyed it to her. So the feelings was hidden somewhere deep inside in the heart and i kept that secret all the while even though i left school and all went on their own ways.. After a while i saw her coming out of that chamber to buy some snacks. She was wearing a white salwar kurta which suits her the most and  i too like her in that. I had seen her the first time in this same look with the same simplicity for the first time too. Then she saw me and we exchanged a smile. Uff! That smile was killer type that just drove me way back to the sweet old days.. 

          I hadn't spoken to her often but still I remember the sight of her while I was in 11th grade, I came across her in a accident. Then I said sorry to her and she just smiled and said it's OK and went past. That frame of time that had got me the most lovely and curvy smile of her is still looked so vivid till today that it sat deep in the heart. I can remember it as f it happened has happened just now. I even now still wanna go back into time and see her smile again and again. But time had its own cruelty so everything went past and after our schooling she went along her way and I on my way. 

          But today everything just lightened up just like flashback and I just loving the moment. I thought to talk to her about her well being next time she comes out. After a while she came out looking for something. I rushed out but calmly and greeted her with a simple Hi and wished her a happy new year and asked how you are. She just said fine and asked about me. I said everything is going on its way. But as I was going to ask something more to talk she turned back towards her seat as her friends called her and she sat there. The heart just dropped out again. I was hoping for another chance but it didn't happen and our stations came up. I came out with my sister who happened to see her brother being the juggler on the hands of time. While coming out I wished all of them a happy new year and went along. I was just praying to god to give another moment to talk but it didn't happen as I couldn't trace her after train halted at station.  After  that i out my luggage and went towards exit.

          After coming out of the station I just took a glance around to see her just to at least say her a goodbye but that too didn't happen. Nevertheless life's not all about her only. there still something time has left for me. But whatever maybe the goals of life she still will have a silent place at one corner of my heart and that will never go……